


Don't Piss JARVIS Off

by aviva_aviva



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4317126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aviva_aviva/pseuds/aviva_aviva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve were having another fight. When Steve starts bad-mounting Tony, JARVIS tells him of. And he is not joking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Piss JARVIS Off

Tony and Steve glared at each other. There was a tense silence around them. Steve then turned around. "I can't believe you would agree with something like that."

"Not everybody can be Mister Perfect." Tony replied, as he turned around, picking the clout that he had threw away before and made his way to his workshop.

Steve had continued looking after Tony, until he eventually sat down, his head down and he leaned on his hands.

"You look like your pet just died."

Steve looked up into Clint's face. He appeared to just come from training ground, as he had his training clothes in, and his bow in his hand. Clint put the bow on a table, looking expectantly at Steve.

"It is nothing." Steve said.

Clint sat down on the sofa. "If that looks like nothing, I don't want to see you being really down." Clint said. "People will think that the world ended."

"I just wish that Tony would not be so stubborn." Steve said. "That arrogant, know-it-all, I-am-the-smartest-person-in-a-room playboy..."

"You would do well to keep your criticism to yourself in my presence, which is everywhere in this tower, Mister Rogers." came the polite British voice.

"I will say what I mean." Steve said. "I don't believe in mincing words."

"Steve?" Clint said in a careful voice. "Maybe we could continue this talk somewhere else?"

Steve looked at Clint and he noticed that he was actually tense, which he wasn't when he arrived. Was he afraid of the artificial intelligences like JARVIS?

"Doesn't matter." Steve said, as he stood up. "It's not important."

Steve then decided to leave the room, leaving Clint behind.

In the next couple of days Steve had forgotten about the whole ordeal. It was not until a couple of weeks later, that he recalled it.

Steve was investigating the remains of Hydra, when he come across their plan to attack Tony inside his mansion. He hurried back, hoping to be able to come back in time. He called the rest of the Avengers in the way, but only Clint was close enough to get there at around the same time as Steve. The others were further away.

When they both arrived at the mansion, the stopped at their tracks. The windows were broken, and there were bullet holes in the walls.

Steve and Clint run inside of the house, but then they stopped at their tracks. What they saw inside of the house were Hydra agents lying on the ground. Some of the bodies were ripped apart, while the others had their limbs amputated. One had his head crushed.

"What the hell happened here?" asked Clint, when he looked around, lowering his bow.

Steve knelt next to one of the bodies. "That was not caused by Tony." He looked around, taking each body in. "He is also not here."

"There where is he?" Clint asked in frustration.

Steve could agree with the sentiment. So many bodies, and no trace of Tony. Not to mention, who did this?

The JARVIS' said: "Sir is currently in his workshop and I see..."

But Steve did not wait for the sentence to end, but he run down the stairs. Unlike the upper part of the house, this one seems the same as always. When he arrived at the bottom of the stairs, he saw Tony working, oblivious to the state upstairs. Steve could feel Clint stopping behind him, when he opened the doors.

Tony looked up, and he saw Steve and Clint in the battle outfit. He clapped. "Mute." He then stood up. "Was there a call for Avengers?"

"Was there a call… Are you even aware of what is going on?" Steve said, as he come closer.

Tony blinked, as he took looked at Steve. "I am working?"

"I think he is referring to the pile of bodies upstairs." Clint said, hoping that for one they could skip the whole fighting because of misunderstanding part.

"Pile of bodies?" Tony looked confused as he made his way up. "JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?" JARVIS replied, and it sounded like he was amused by the situation.

Tony arrived at the living room, and he looked around. There was a smile on his face. "Protocol heart?"

"Yes, sir." came the reply. "I already called the cleaning crew."

Tony looked around and sighed. "Pepper won't like this. And I had such good plans for our holidays."

Steve and Clint looked confused behind him. Clint eventually asked: "What is protocol heart?"

Tony looked up at Steve. "Oh, you don't know about it. Protocol heart is JARVIS' protocol in case my or Pepper's lives are in danger."

Steve looked around the destruction. "Are you saying that JARVIS did this? All of this?"

"Sure." Tony said. "This is not even the worst one."

"I knew JARVIS was scary, but this takes the cake." Clint said under his breath. Which made Tony laugh.

"Nobody messes with me." Tony said with the smiling face. "You should have seen what happened to Kelvin."

"That was you?" Clint asked, his face wide open. There was admiration on his face.

"Nope." Tony said. "That was all JARVIS."

Steve looked from one to another. "I thought JARVIS was just an artificial intelligence."

"Whit access to all my electronic systems." Tony said.

Steve suddenly blanched, remembering the warning that JARVIS gave him a couple of week ago. If that was meant seriously… "We should change locations."

Clint snickered, guessing why Steve was suddenly a little more nervous. But they still went along with his idea. After all, none of them liked being surrounded by bodies.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in March 2015.


End file.
